O.K. so the first one doesn't count I just couldn't resist.

If I could be a missionary... I would invent a new position to be remembered for I would be Jim In Tonic Inventor of Missionary II the latest sexual craze of the Orient.

If I could be a personal trainer… I would start a chain of fitness franchaises called "The Fat Guy Gym" where fat guys could go to work out but only until you weren't fat anymore. We'd kick you out into the "regular" gym population after that.

If I could be a bonnie pirate...I would bury something in every port I set foot in and then I would have my crew tell the story of the great treasure that I had buried in their town. They would all go crazy trying to find my treasure and the only thing they would find are vintage Cracker Jack Prizes. The whole time they were looking I would watch them at a safe distance so as not to be detected, just so I could laugh at them. OR I would be the next to become the Dread Pirate Roberts that sounded like a good gig.

If I could be a musician...I would be a master of the Hammond B-3 organ. That's right...a proper Chicago Bluesman. I would've studied at Julliard and gone on to forge a special relationship with Jimmy Smith before his death. All of the other B-3 players would worship me, and noone else would know who I was. I would travel from town to town with my organ on my back just like the old Delta Blues men.When I was in town I would visit the local dance hall, whip out my organ, and show all the nice people what I could do with it.

If I could be a painter...I would be a Wyeth because I would love to be able to paint like this. I of course am limited to being able to paint like this.

If I could be a TV-Chat Show host...I would want to do a late night show that was shot on location in Las Veags in one of those "Ultra Lounge" atmospheres. I would have staff members screen potential audience members and only allow ones who were funny or had interesting stories to tell, then I would mostly interview the barflies. I would develop a regular cast of "patrons" and Stars would "drop by" on their way to do other things.

Now, for the passing it on. I have given this long and hard thought and I would like to see Robin, and Dooeypig, and Deni Bonet answer some questions...for the Dread Pirate Roberts. ARRRGH!